goodfountain

We were blessed with some much needed sunshine and warm weather today. I am nearly fully recovered from my ailments. Finally. Poor Ess, though, she has a loooooovely case of conjunctivitis and a double ear infection. The sunshine was calling to us, though, and as Ess seemed substantially better today, we headed to the playground.

I don’t see the three of us heading there too often. I don’t know how other mothers do it, or maybe some kids are just easier than other kids, but I found it challenging to watch both kids at the same time. Impossible, really. Ess simply has to be watched constantly. At 16 months, she has no fears and she thinks she’s more capable than she actually is. This is entirely opposite of Chee at the same age, who, because of her sensory processing disorder, spent most of the time just circling the playground. She had tons of fun doing that, but she was not a climber. This year is the first year she will go down a covered slide or a corkscrew slide even. (Hooray!! Three cheers for Chee!!)

Add in to the mix at this playground a great big lake that is down a hill, and you’ve got a recipe for a nervous Mommy. Maybe I’m more nervous than the “typical” mom because of my “not typical” kid and her wandering history. I can remember hanging out at our old playground, near where we used to live, and having to chase Chee all over a huge field when she decided she’s done at the playground. It would be a humongous effort to convince her to come back with me to either the playground or the van. Often times ending in me carrying her kicking and screaming to the parking lot.

I am happy to say that there was no wandering today. A couple of times she strayed into the grass which leads to the hill which leads to the lake, but she came back immediately when I called her. I realize she’s maturing and that I need to give her a chance to show me how far she’s come. At the same time, there’s a lake. It’s down a hill. It would only take a few steps for her to be out of my sight heading down that hill, and only a few seconds for her to decide to jump in the water. She who does not have the most fabulous impulse control.

So our visits without another adult present will be few and far between. What we’ll miss is the social aspect. Today, a little girl named Emily wanted to play with Chee. I saw some terrific interaction. Chee told her her name and her age. And when the girl asked, Do you wanna play? Chee enthusiastically responded, Yes! And that’s where it stopped. She wouldn’t play with her. She kept coming back to me and asking, What are you doing, Mommy? or What’s Emily doing now? I encouraged her to climb up and go down the slide with her, or to jump on the hopscotch board. But Chee wouldn’t do it. She was really fascinated by Emily, though, and she’d run up to her and say something I couldn’t hear, and then run off.

I think Chee really wants to make friends, but either lacks confidence or skills. Or both. The way she kept running back to me, as though she needed to make sure I was there for her, put me in mind of someone very shy. I’m not sure how much to intervene here. How much of it is shyness vs lack of skills? She’s doing a ton better now than last year when she’d not even acknowledge the presence of another child.

No matter what, I see how she’s developing in the arena of making friends. For now, I’m going to choose to not stress that she’s still behind there and trust that she’ll get there when she’s ready. Have to remind myself that development is not a race. She’ll get there when she gets there.