Rounding the bases

Lest you think it’s all gloom and worry at mi casa, let me assure that the good times do still abound. Charlotte is, generally speaking, one of the absolute happiest kids on earth. The only person known to rival her level of happiness is her sister. Sarah is adorableness personified.

Honestly, sometimes it’s hard living with this much cuteness.

Last year I wrote about Charlotte’s endurance, or lack thereof. She seems to tire easily, especially when running. The warm days are popping up randomly now and we’ve spent some time outside.

I set up a type of running obstacle course (anything to wear them out burn excess energy) and was hoping that it would motivate Charlotte to actually run around the yard, not just amble. No such luck though.

She would run from Start to the Tree, but once she rounded the Tree and headed for the Cone, her pace slackened. From the Cone to the Whiffle Bat – it was but a leisurely stroll.

Funnily, she loves to “run” the course though. Loves it. My plan has been to modify the course throughout the summer to keep her motivated, all the while timing her so I could track her progress (I was already envisioning the blog post sharing her incredible results).

Then I swung into Big Lots the other day looking for cheap summer toys, specifically I was on the hunt for obstacle course-y type rings and things. Instead I purchased on an el-cheapo plastic T-Ball game (guaranteed not to last more than a few haphazard games).

Per my direction Charlotte is, literally, keeping "an eye on the ball."

Showed it to Charlotte and Sarah and, I have to tell you, it was (my apologies) a big hit!

I didn’t even know the two of them knew what baseball was, but they sure did.

I showed Charlotte how to hold the bat and swing, and swing she did! Then, and this is the truly astonishing part, she said, “I’ve got to run the bases now!”

And off she took. Running, running, all the way around the entire yard. She ran to the Tree. Ran to the Cone. Ran back to home plate (the tee) and stomped her foot on it!

Stomping on home base!

And then she did it again! And again! I think she hit the ball tee a total five times for Five Big Homeruns!

I’m thinking I may have to invest in a little nicer quality set for them. And next year, when she’s aready 5, I’m thinking T-Ball (on a team!) will be in order.

Meanwhile, I’ll have to figure out some other fun summer thing to track for a fabulous future blog post. As always, stay tuned.

Clarification sought… and received

Be careful what you ask.

Rather than me continue to wonder exactly what it means when Charlotte’s teacher says she does not complete her work, I zipped off an email to her teacher last night.

And now I know.

Sigh.

I know, but yet I don’t know why.

Here’s the lowdown.

Example – drawing the R.C. picture – I sent another child over to the art center (assistant there) with Charlotte and they got their paper, talked about what song they had chosen at circle and began the task.  The other child got the paper, marker and finished within five minutes.

Charlotte walked over, couldn’t tell us what her favorite song was – we referenced her back to the white board where she had placed her picture under her favorite song – she wandered over to dramatic play, etc.

I have so many conflicting emotions that race through me when I read this example (one of two the teacher provided, the other one was quite similar).

There’s worry and a bit of sadness as I think about her struggling throughout school for years to come.

There’s also cynicsm – it’s a friggin’ picture she’s not drawing.

There’s questioning – what’s blocking this seemingly pretty smart kid from following simple instructions? Can she overcome it?

Then I reflect on yesterday’s speech therapy. I’ve started Charlotte with a new speech therapist (taking advantage of the visits my insurance covers per year). We’ve met two times so far (jury is still out on whether it will be worthwhile).

J, the SLP, started doing a storytelling sequencing activity with Charlotte. She laid out 3 picture cards in random order with the intention of asking Charlotte to put them in the right order.

She said: “Charlotte, these cards tell a story. Which card is first?”

Charlotte pointed at the first card in the line-up. “This card,” she said.

J corrected her and took her through the right order.

This happened 3 times. And then I spoke up.

“J, you’re asking her to tell you which card is first, which is exactly what she’s doing. Pointing at the first card in the line-up.”

“Oh, oh, right,” she says, and then slightly modifies her directions. I intervened.

“Charlotte, this story is mixed up, not in the right order. Can you tell us what happens first in the story?”

Bingo. She understands and successfully sequences a bunch of stories. J was impressed. (Caveat: J is young, only been doing this a couple of years, not sure if she is the right SLP for Charlotte right now.)

That’s an example of what worries me about Charlotte’s education. Without my intervention, this therapist would have concluded that Charlotte cannot sequence a visual story.

How often does this happen at school? What are they missing by not rephrasing questions, by not taking a different approach?

Then I worry that I am completely and utterly over-analyzing this. We live in a top-notch school district, after all. Surely they know what they are doing, right?

Again, I sigh.

Worry worry worry.

I’m all over the place

Emotionally I have been all over the map lately. I hate feeling this way. One minute I’m up, confident; the next minute, depressed.

I knew the process of evaluating Charlotte so she can receive a diagnosis for services in Kindergarten was going to be tough. On me. I knew it. And yet, that awareness is not making it less tough.

This past week I filled out the Asperger’s Syndrome Diagnostic Scale and something else called Guiding Questions (when considering educational diagnosis of ASD). The school will look at my answers in conjunction with how the teacher has filled it out (I’m sure Charlotte’s raw score will be higher based on the teacher’s observations). (She also has other evaluations scheduled as well.)

After answering “observed” on over half the questions (and especially so in language, social and cognitive) I couldn’t help but think, “Oh my god, that’s it. She has Asperger’s!” Of course, I have no idea what the raw score will actually mean when all is said and done. Maybe she has to have way more than half to be considered Asperger’s. I’ll find out soon enough.

That’s what’s going on this week.

Last week , however, one of the Charlotte’s NT peers from her class, who lives nearby came over for a playdate. The mom stayed, and after awhile we got to chatting about Charlotte and her IEP. After I described some of what the school says they are concerned about, this mom said that she didn’t think Charlotte seemed all that different from her daughter.

I get this all the time from people. They cannot believe she’s going to receive an autism/Asperger’s label from the school, and that she needs help in Kindergarten.

Sometimes, frankly, I can hardly believe it myself.

So last week I was all up – ready to challenge the school on just how it is that Charlotte is so different from her peers.

Then I fill out that darn Asperger’s diagnostic scale and I’m down in the dumps. She is different, I think. She really is.

I know, I know, we’re not supposed to compare our kids. But isn’t that basically what a diagnosis of Autism is, comparing our kid with “normal.” They do “X” number of “not normal” things and therefore the diagnosis fits.

And speaking of IEPs (how’s that for a smooth segue), I don’t get how her biggest delays, which are, reportedly, in social skills, are going to be helped by an IEP. Her teacher tells me the biggest area of concern is her social development – the back and forth peer interaction is limited.

Yet where she thinks she needs IEP help is in task completion. Having someone (the special ed teacher apparently) come in to her class during Reading Center and Writing Center and help her finish her work. She, right now, does not complete her work.

How is that related to social development? Isn’t that an altogether different issue? And isn’t that something that many 5 & 6 year olds will face when they are newly in Kindergarten? And isn’t it the regular teacher’s job to help children finish their work especially in kindergarten?

So then my mind starts wandering to thoughts of, “What aren’t they telling me?” Is her ability to complete a task THAT much worse than every other kid in her class? And if so, why are they saying she’s ready for Kindergarten?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for Charlotte getting help if she needs it. I want nothing more than for my child to enjoy school and learn what she’s supposed to learn. But I at least want to understand how the deficit (love that word) areas and the IEP accommodations work together.

Not only are my emotions all over the place, but so is this post.

On the one hand, I look at Charlotte and, in my heart, I know she’s different. She definitely is not developing along the typical path, has uneven development, etc. And I know that her difference falls somewhere near or on the Autism Spectrum.

What I don’t know is how different.

On the flip side, what I don’t understand is how school IEPs address issues of social development. By social development, I believe I mean communication. Friends. Fitting in.

I guess the only answer is to just continue in this process of evaluations and (eventually) goal-setting, and keep asking questions until it makes sense.

And maybe start drinking more. That’ll even out my moods, right?

Spring Butterflies

Spring has sprung!

Even though I don’t mind cold weather and am definitely a four seasons kinda gal, I always look forward to the arrival of spring. Odds are we have one snowfall left this year … seems like it always snows in April ’round here. If it happens, though, let’s hope it’s short and sweet and we can get on with warm weather.

This past week I celebrated birthday #38. Cruising toward 40, my friends. A little bit I’m starting to dread it, but not so much. I’ve been told 40 is great but to watch out for 45…

On my actual birthday, I took Charlotte and Sarah to an inflatables place for a birthday party for twins who turned 5 that same day. Pizza and Diego cupcakes weren’t exactly the food I had in mind for me, but it was fun for the kids. And it’s ALL about the kids, ain’t it?

Today was my unofficial birthday celebration. I took myself to the movies and my darling made me a cake and dinner. One of my favorite meals, which I picked especially for today since a) it’s springy and b) it’s not labor intensive for my he-who-does-not-cook-often husband.

If you like asparagus, you’ll probably like this dish. It’s from one of my favorite cookbooks of all time – 365 Easy Italian Recipes. I don’t think I’ve ever made something from here that wasn’t absolutely fabulous.

All the labor is in prepping the vegetables. Cook time is relatively quick.

Spring Butterflies

1 pound butterfly or bow-tie pasta (farfalle)
3 tbsp butter
2 tbsp finely chopped onion
8 ounces medium asparagus cut into 1/2-inch diagonal slices
2 medium carrots, peeled and cut into 1/4-inch diagonal slices
2 tsp chopped fresh thyme or 1/2 tsp dried
2 cups chicken stock or reduced-sodium canned broth
1 10-ounce package frozen peas
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil or 1 teaspoon dried
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
Grated Parmesan cheese

1. Cook farfalle in a large pot of boiling salted water until tender but still firm, 8-10 minutes.

2. In a large frying plan, melt butter over medium heat. Add onion and cook 3 to 4 minutes, or until softened. Stir in asparagus, carrots, and thyme. Cook, stirring, 1 minute. Add stock, increase heat to medium-high, and cook until vegetables are crisp tender and stock is reduced to 1 1/4 cups, about 3 minutes. Stir in peas and basil and heat through. Season with salt and pepper.

3. Drain pasta and pour into warmed large bowl. Pour primavera sauce on top and toss together. Pass a bowl of Parmesan cheese on the side.

My husband made the dish perfectly and we had a nice little dinner, including cake and ice cream. The only disappointment was the frosting I made for the cake turned out too runny. But it sure won’t stop me from eating it.

Happy Spring, friends!

Happy St Patrick’s Day

Last week the newsletter from Charlotte’s teacher asked if anyone was interested in making a St. Patrick’s Day snack for the kids on Tuesday.

Since I’ll take any opportunity to hang out in her classroom, I volunteered. Only after I had first asked a friend for an easy snack idea. I’m just a novice still when it comes to Holiday-themed treats.

Since I love to bake you’d think I would have all kind of baking ideas up my sleeve but, alas, I do not.

The problem is that I love to eat homemade baked good as much I love to bake them. So if I baked or made treats as often as I wanted, well, I think you know where this is going.

I digress.

What’s fascinating about that whole intro is that I didn’t even bake anything today!

Here’s what I made:

And I’m here to tell you that cutting shapes out of Rice Krispies treats is hard work, my friends. Hard work.

I eventually had to get out my meat mallet and start banging away to get the cookie cutter through the HFCS-food dye-infused gooey concoction.

But well worth it I’m sure tomorrow when the kids gasp wide-eyed at the marvel of a green, shamrock-shaped Rice Krispies treat start shoveling them in their mouth.

Not pictured is the little green M&M I plonked smack in the middle of each shamrock.

I thought about making six of them orange so as not to leave out our Protestant friends. But I’m not that talented with food coloring and it would have turned out oogly.

Charlotte has never had a Rice Krispies treat before (at least not on my watch). She knew I was making these for her snack at school tomorrow. But when I offered her a sample, she politely declined. “No, I’ll just wait to try it at school tomorrow for St. Patrick’s Day.”  How cute is that?

Unfortunately, I’ll just have to send them in with her in the morning and not get to hang out. Little Sarah now has the junk that the rest of us have been passing around. She looked quite pathetic today, all flushed and warm.

At one point I nearly lost her in the house. She was sleeping on the couch in the living room and I heard her get up. I assumed she would wander out to the kitchen to find me. When she didn’t I went looking. Couldn’t see her anywhere. Even ran upstairs looking for her.

But there she was still in the living room, having moved herself over to the tent.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you all!

Thoughts from a retailer

Dear Parents,

Thank you for spending time with your children and taking them shopping. And thank you for stopping into our little booth today. We love children, and we love seeing the joy that stuffing your Very Own Teddy Bear brings to a child.

However, after four years of helping children stuff their Very Own Teddy Bear, we have made a few observations that we’d like to share.

When you tell your kid to pick out any animal they want to stuff, let HIM (or her) pick it out. Don’t say, “Are you sure that’s the one you want? Did you look at all of them?”

Also don’t say, “Why would you want a cat? What about a dog? Or a bear. Oh did you see this tiger?”

Furthermore, don’t say, “You want the pink poodle?” with disgust in your voice.

Finally, do not repeatedly ask them if they are absolutely, positively, 100% certain THIS is the animal they want. It’s a $13 stuffed animal, not a new car.

Just let them PICK IT OUT. Support and encourage their decision. Second-guessing only makes them feel insecure and think they are making the wrong choice about what animal they want.

When I tell your 5-year-old son (or any age son for that matter) to pick out whatever color bow HE wants for around his animal’s neck, and he chooses lavender, don’t tell him that’s a girl color. Don’t tell him he needs to pick out a boy color. That’s humiliating. Color knows no gender.

Also, the color of the bow and the animal do not have to match. If your kid  wants to put a red bow on a purple bear, that’s okay. Trust me. It doesn’t matter. It’s just a bow.

If your kid is happy with how much fluff is in his stuffed animal, then be happy too. It’s not your animal. You’re not going to play with it. Don’t make me put MORE in because you’re worried you might be getting gypped.

About Webkinz – they are not just for girls. Many, many boys collect them and play Webkinz games online. So when your son is looking at our Webkinz table, don’t make a stupid comment like “Webkinz are for girls, you sissy.” That’s humiliating.

And you know what else, stuffed animals aren’t just for girls either. So macho dads, check your insecurity at the door and let your son have some fun.

Last, but not least, and this has nothing to do with what I sell – soda pop does not belong in a baby’s bottle.

Thank you. We look forward to serving you in the future.

The Management

Nature girls they are not

Lovely weather for nearly a week – upper 60s and yesterday even mid-70s! Glorious!

We made the most of the temperatures, hitting the park 5 days in a row and we spent time in the backyard yesterday.

Last year I was unable to take the girls to the park by myself. Sarah, at 18 months, needed my constant supervision, and Charlotte had a tendency to wander run off. Just about every single park near us has a lake nearby, and my neurotic self just couldn’t deal with the possibility of her slipping away from me.

So far this year our park adventures have been excellent. I still need to watch Sarah, but I no longer have to spot all of her climbs. On the drive to the playground we go over the rules – no leaving the playground, no running away from Mommy. When we first arrive I set boundaries (no crossing this sidewalk).

Charlotte has been terrific. So much so that I frequently stop and give her a hug and tell her what a great job she’s doing remembering the playground rules. She beams.

I much, much prefer the playground to the backyard. We have a swing set out back, but the girls seem unable to entertain themselves for more than a minute. The wander aimlessly kicking at dirt or staring into the clouds. I gamely attempt to burn calories by walking laps around the swing set only to be diluged with requests to climb into the clubhouse or “push me, push me!”

At the playground at least they will run from swing to slide to rock wall and proudly declare “I did it all by myself!” Why can’t they do it all by themselves at home?

I don’t sound like the monkey bars mom that I once proclaimed to be, do I? It’s not that I don’t want to play with them, I do. But there’s something to be said for independence. Such a constant balancing act.

Yesterday within about 5 minutes after going outside, the boredom set in. Finally I told Charlotte to just grab a shovel and dig in the mud. What the heck, right? It was bath night anyway.

Digging in the dirt lasted … briefly. Sarah kept trying to wipe her hands off on her pants. Charlotte barely fingered the mud. I don’t blame her. Ick.

Mama isn’t a nature girl either. I’m trying though. We plan to resume our nature walks this year with a goal of hitting the trails at all 21 county parks.

So long as I don’t have to touch any mud.

Remember when…

Remember when Chee ……..

Wait! I just can’t stand it anymore.

I gave my two girls two of the most beautiful names that exist on Earth. And I just can’t stand calling them Chee and Ess anymore. Can’t. Stand. It.

Good-bye Chee and Ess. Hello Charlotte and Sarah.

Ok.

Remember when Charlotte was afraid of the garage?

So dearly afraid of the garage that she wouldn’t even step foot in the driveway because the garage door loomed menacingly upon her.

She used to race from the front door, through the yard in a wide arc,  to the open van and practically dive in head first.

Now here she is last week happily playing Hopscotch. In the driveway. Where I also tried to teach her how to hop on one foot and oh my was that the funniest thing ever!

As she was running down the sidewalk toward the driveway, she slowed down a bit and glanced at the garage door … but then kept on going.

Traversing into and out of the garage is a feat accomplished as well. She’s even been known to hang out in there for a few minutes.

Sweet successes.

The picture revisited

Many right answers to my question below on what is special about that particular picture of Chee. And some interesting observations as well (M and Heather).

For those who don’t remember the picture I posted about 3 months ago, let us revisit.

Chee on the First Day of School:

And Chee, Five Months Later:

Right smack in the middle of the line.

Great, right?

Yes, it is.

What I wonder, though, is whether she will just meld right into the line next year when she starts K and everything is new – teacher, classroom, kids, routine. Or will she set herself apart for a time until she gets comfortable.

And you know, I’m okay with it – whatever she does.

Nothing wrong with hanging back till you feel comfortable.

Still, I think this picture is pretty neat in how it shows Chee does eventually grow comfortable and adapt. However long it takes.

Few words Wednesday

Because I can’t do Wordless. Don’t have it in me.

Leave a comment if you can tell me what makes this picture very special (besides the fact that the kids all have bizarro heart-shaped faces).