In the world of quirky, autistic language, we are presently living in the land of questions.
Not the annoying curious ones like, “Why is the sun yellow?” and “Why do birds fly?” that those typical four and five year old kids come up with. Nope. No, we live in a land of the inane questions.
Who is that?
That’s Sarah.
What is she doing?
She’s sleeping.
In the bathroom after piano lesson and at Red Robin and at the swim club: What is that?
That’s a potty.
What is that?
That’s a sink.
What is that?
That’s the wall?
What are we in?
We’re in the bathroom.
Sometimes it gets interesting.
Do you love me?
Do I love you?
Do I want to eat chicken for lunch?
Do I need to go potty?
Does Belle want to marry Gaston or the Beast?
Does she love Gaston? or does she love the Beast?
As one can imagine, I tire of the interrogations.
Who do I want to give some hay to?
Silence.
Mommy, who wants some hay?
Mom-meeeee! Who?! Wants?! Hay?!
Charlotte, you know who you want to give some hay to. Just go give him some.
A new strategy today.
She is currently very much into makes and models of cars.
Is that a CHEVROLET??
Charlotte, you know what kind of car it is. So you can say, Hey look, there’s a Chevrolet!
What is my sister got?
Charlotte, you know what she has. You can say, Hey, look, Sarah’s playing with her baby doll!
I’ll probably regret this strategy. Before you know it, everything will be “hey look.” “Hey look!” “Hey look!”
Still. I have to try something to break her off incessant inane questioning. Otherwise…
Hey, look, is that another beer in my hand?
15 comments
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July 9, 2009 at 7:22 am
jesswilson
is this my world? is this precisely how my little one communicates with us too? is this EXACTLY how we live? do i totally, 100%, absolutely, positively GET this?
um, yup
July 9, 2009 at 8:10 am
ALBJ2YO
Maybe I should be grateful that we are already experiencing this.
DS is 3 & I thought he was trying to figure out why people ask questions by doing this. We’ve been pushing “what is it” and “where is the…” questions recently in Speech. Maybe there is more to it.
He always asks things he can SEE (which sounds like what you’re saying)
Mommy, are you drinking coffee? Are you playing? Are you watching TV?
And, YES, I will tell you that we have started to try to help him appropriately COMMENT (which is essentially what he’s doing with these questions….though not always appropriate comments) “OH, Mommy, you’re watching TV” “OH, Look at the pretty tree” etc…
Now, when I serve him the most PLAIN, SAME bowl of cereal in the mornings it is “OOOOOH cEReal”
sigh
July 9, 2009 at 8:13 am
Kristin
Hmm… this is interesting and I didn’t know it was common with ASD. Alec doesn’t do it much. He went through a short phase of this maybe a year ago? I remember being asked questions he already knew the answers to, but one of my typical kids did the same so I didn’t notice it as anything but annoying! He seems to have moved on for the most part but still asks “Do you love me?” occasionally and that one I don’t mind so much! I’ve found that margaritas are helpful too!
July 9, 2009 at 8:45 am
Korta
Okay, I’m TOTALLY trying the “Hey look” thing, my daughter does the same thing.
Now, if you have any hints about getting rid of a complete and unnatural fascination with people’s noses, I will grovel at your feet!
July 9, 2009 at 10:36 am
Christa
Ben is going through a similar question phase, except for him, he is constantly asking us to define words, most of which he already knows experientially. “What is EXIT?” “What is TOAST?” “What are ANIMALS?”
He seems fascinated that every word has a formal definition, or wants to try to stump us (which he sometimes does) or is just using the technique to stall or get out of another conversation.
No matter the function, asking questions seems like a positive language development!
July 9, 2009 at 11:25 am
pixiemama
OMG
I love you
July 9, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Erica77777
My hyperlexic 4-year old son asks the SAME questions. He has been talking like this for just about one year now, and although I am grateful in some ways, in other ways, it drives me (SAHM with a newborn that I am) rather batty =. Although his conversational ability has become very natural on many occasions, he still loves to ask both the “Is that a Chevrolet?” type and the “What are animals?” type of questions to which Christa alludes.
My son also loves the hypothetical questions: “What if you were a pencil?” “What would happen if…,” which sounds great in theory and makes it appear that he has a great imagination, but sometimes it seems to me that he is getting more enjoyment out of ASKING the nonsense question than getting the (often humorous) response.
July 10, 2009 at 10:20 am
rhemashope
My girlfriend’s son with ASD is also currently into car makes and models. Everywhere he goes, he’s labeling the cars. I think it’s kind of cute, (but of course I don’t have to hear it all the time) but it’s driving her crazy!
July 10, 2009 at 10:55 am
Nalia
Maybe she needs to read the Dick and Jane books. That’ll put a stop to the constant questions. I remember being introduced to the insipid Dick and his loathsome sister Jane by my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Wrighter.I had asked her for something to read because the curriculum left a lot to be desired, as far as I was concerned.
In retaliation she gave me Dick and Jane. It totally creeped me out with the “Look, look, look! Look and see! Look at what I see! Do you see the thing that I see?”
Try it. it might work as a kind of aversion conditioning.
July 10, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Patty
Oh the joys of motherhood. Lately, what has gotten to me is the incessant (and I do mean incessant) quoting of movies that both my kids engage in. You would think they watch movies all the time, which I promise, they don’t. They have even been quoting movies they have only seen once, like “UP!” Sometimes I just want to have a normal conversation with my children, but maybe “normal conversation” and “children” don’t go together….
July 11, 2009 at 10:19 am
Brenda
I LOVE it, goodfountain! We have exactly the same thing!!! Years ago, I had an elderly relative who slumped into a diabetic semi-coma at her place. Her questions: Is this my apartment? Is this where I live? Are these peaches? “Is this my apartment?” comes up frequently in my mind these days along with all the “YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER!”s. JBear has always done this from the time he could talk. I must have heard “Is that the sun?” twenty times every day when he was first “talking.” Part of it is the repetitive behavior; part of it is a desire to control a very unpredictable social world; part of it is because he’s not sure how to express or identify other feelings or opinions; part of it because he has a hard time initiating new ideas or topics. Sometimes he even messes up and says “what is that potty?” telling me he already knows, he just wants me to say it!!!
Good grief! Not that it makes it any easier for you to deal with, but I’m SO GLAD to hear someone else is and can understand. Bless your heart, goodfountain, and hang in there! I need a cocktail myself.
July 13, 2009 at 4:59 pm
BQkimmy
i think i’d take the “hey look” over the constant questions. although personally for me right now I would take and kind of verbal communication. no wait! scratch that! any verbal comm in ENGLISH!
i can totally see how the questions would get to you. i really, really do. good luck with making the switch to the “hey look”
July 15, 2009 at 8:31 pm
katie
oh, wow, do i ever hear you! usually when we drive anywhere, it’s, “are we on I-75? are we on broadway? are we on 14th now?” the questions she knows the answers to go alllllll day long. my favorite is when she asks (after i just unsuccessfully tried to get her to sleep for an hour), “mama, did i take a nap? why not?” are you joking!
aaaaah, cheers to all you mamas.
July 21, 2009 at 9:35 pm
K- floortime Lite mama
How smart she is!!!!!
i love the way you ended the post…cheers
September 23, 2009 at 6:29 am
Shhh… « goodfountain
[...] For some time now (over a year!) she has been obsessed with making sure that she informs me everywhere we go that she’s not going to be quiet and that she is going to use her regular voice. Usually she informs me of this via her famed questioning tactic. [...]