goodfountain

Not every day week is a good day week.

Perhaps it’s the post best birthday ever letdown.

Truthfully, it’s only been a bad three days, but three days of whining and crying feels like forever a week. I am not an amused mother anymore.

Monday and Tuesday were fine. Monday I was gone for 3 hours in the early afternoon so that probably contributed to why the day was fine for me. Tuesday we had a pool party with her preschool class. Of course that day was great - swimming pool, friends, a stop for ice cream. What’s to be unhappy about?

Wednesday is when things started going south. Her last tumbling class ended with her crying and unable to explain why. Later she told me cried because her sticker ripped. Her sticker!!! A sticker bringing on that level of tears was an ominous foreboding.

I wish I could remember the horrid travesties of the rest of the day, but my mind has mercifully blocked them from memory.

Much of Thursday and today was comprised of a lot of not listening to me. So deliberate in her ignoring my requests to stop bad behavior (like ripping open a box of food). This morning she cried when we went outside to play in the back yard. She just wanted me to hug her and she requested to go back inside. Fortunately Ess wasn’t having a great time outside either so she complied. Unless there’s a swimming pool or a sprinkler involved, my girls are not outside girls. We like air conditioning.

The echolalia today was rampant. There is nothing more frustrating than thinking I’m having a legitimate conversation with Chee only to find out that she’s playing the role of Caillou or, in particular today, Caillou’s friend Leo. I will go along with it for awhile, but then I am all echoed out. It made playing any number of games impossible. That’s the other thing. Let’s play [insert game here]! she says to me, only to wander off while I’m getting it down or about 15 seconds into it.

Her obsession with Baby Einstein DVDs is in full force too. Chee was just wild about Baby Einstein in her “younger” days. Once I became aware of the pragmatic aspect of her language delay, I realized that there is nothing conversational about Baby Einstein and I phased them out. I view Baby Einstein in such a new way now. Nothing particularly educational about them beyond vocabulary building. Entertaining, yes. One day they went to live with another family. She was fine with that and never asked for them. Somehow, though, she found them when we moved last year and I’ve let her watch them on occasion again. And now she wants to watch them over and over again. And over. I think it’s time they went to live elsewhere again. Permanently. (For kicks some time I’ll devote an entire post to the many and varied loves of Baby Einstein this house has seen.)

In the midst of all this whining and crying, Chee had two important appointments yesterday. Her 4 year check up with her pediatrician, and her quarterly physical therapy session. The 4 year checkup was fabulous. Chee let herself be examined, she answered all of the doctor’s questions, she was highly agreeable. This appointment was a thousand times better than her three year checkup where the doctor noted that she was totally echolalic and refused physical examination. Not too bad for one year later. There were a couple of shots, which did not go well, but that’s to be expected. Upon reviewing her chart, her pediatrician declared her to look like a typical THREE year old. Um, she’s four, I reminded the doctor. Yes, she said, but she looks like a three year old. (90th percentile for height and weight not withstanding.)

Then on to Physical Therapy where, again, she did quite fabulous. I mentioned to her PT what the pediatrician said about looking like a three year old and she agreed that developmentally Chee reminds her more a three year old than a four year old. And, I’m recalling, her speech therapist says that Chee’s language is that of an early 3 year old than an early four year old.

Hmmm, the wheels start turning in my brain. Could it be that behaviorally she’s more like a 3 year old than a 4 year old too?

Maybe.

She was so very adamant today about buttering her own corn on the cob. My husband didn’t let her and she ran from the room and threw herself down in a heap of tears in the next room. I told her to come back and she could butter her own corn and she was happy. From what I’m reading, the “do it myself” phase generally happens at three. But for a kid who is about a year behind developmentally, maybe that phase is happening now at four. I could give other examples, but this post is already too long.

What this means for me, as the frustrated Mom who lost her own temper a couple of times these past few days, is start treating her like a 3 year old. Forget thinking of her as special needs or sensory sensitive (although those things are still important), but just think of her as a really tall 3 year old. It really makes sense. Last summer, when she turned 3, we had some pretty horrible times. My husband and I used to say we were finally hitting the terrible twos. Now at age 4, it feels like a lot of expected 3 year old behavior is hitting us.

With the rate at which she’s been developing, I’m suspecting hoping praying that we will move through some of this with lightening speed and she can start being the charming girl that all four year olds are.

Yeah right. I hear uproarious laughter from the parents of four year old girls everywhere.

Don’t be fooled by my glib tone into thinking that I am not somewhat obsessively worrying about her being a year behind and wondering when the delay will be less obvious. Remember, I’m a worrier.

Meanwhile, I’m dusting off the special handbook the gods gave me for parenting a three year old and I’m going to adjust my expectations. Wish me luck. Wish us luck.

Or so declared Chee Saturday afternoon as we put the final touches on the decorations and waited for her guests to arrive.

She turned four years old!

To celebrate, we had her first-ever “friend” birthday party. She’s been excited about this for over a month. A month!

As I’ve been noodling in my head just what to say about the party and about her turning four, my mind wanders as there’s so much to say.

I could report how perfectly comfortable and happy she was. I could share countless examples of how she fully engaged with her friends. There was the wild success of the Pinata and the stuff-your-own teddy bear. Our good fortune that Ess slept till after the Pinata bashing cannot be overlooked. My husband I declared the party a huge success. All our planning, re-planning and worrying paid off. The party kicked ass.

A memorable moment was Chee not crying during the singing of Happy Birthday and the subsequent clapping and cheering that seems to always follow. (Her family breathed a collective sigh of relief.) Another was when she took her favorite birthday present, a digital camera, and held it up to her Grandpa’s face and said, Here you go, you look through here, you say ’say cheese,’ and you press this blue button. Giving instructions! That was a first.

I could get all mushy and talk about how perfect she is and how much I love her, but I did lots of that to her face already and I don’t think it needs to be said anymore. We all know. It’s a given.

As she was getting ready for bed, I asked her what was her favorite part of the party. Was it the cake, or opening the presents or playing games, or something else?

She took a moment and said, My favorite part was seeing all my friends.

That, friends, was my favorite part of the whole day.

I’m rather enjoying this particular developmental spot that both my girls are in. Chee has recently had what one could call a conversation boom in her language. She’s very engaged with us, very communicative. But especially so with her sister. Ess is already quite the conversationalist. However, it’s a bit of an emerging skill with the both of them. Makes for some hilarious, if not repetitive, discussions.

Chee’s birthday is Sunday. She’s very excited. She invites nearly everyone she meets to her party, which is Saturday. She also asks them how old are you going to be on your next birthday? Most are caught off guard, but they usually answer. I know it’s not a polite question, but we’ll deal with that later. I’m just happy she’s talking to people!

Tonight we went to a party supply store to pick up a few more things for the main event. On the list was Party Hats. Chee is requesting that everybody wear hats at her party. We’ve invited six little friends over. Our first not-just-family party.

On the way there, our girls chatted.

Ess: I wan nuss, I wan nuss. (Code for I want to nurse.)
Chee: Nooooo, you can’t nurse, we’re going to Party City! Yay Party City!!

Ess: I wan go swimming!
Chee: Nooo, you can’t go swimming, we’re going to Party City! Yay Party City!!

Ess: I wan Mommy, I wan Mommy!!
Chee: No, you can’t ha… (pause) You can have Mommy, Chee (pause) I will go with Daddy!

While it’s not the most high level and robust of conversations, it was definitely back and forth. And back and forth. Chee is very good at answering most all of Ess’ questions. Which are many. What doing, Chee? Where Daddy, Chee? What doing, Chee? (What doing is the question of the week.)

I used to be afraid that Ess would surpass Chee in language development. Instead what I think she’s doing is speeding her along. She’s a good role model, believe it or not, even at 19 months. And while Ess, as the younger sibling, is constantly worried she’s going to miss out on some thing of grand importance, it is actually Chee who is doing as much, if not more, of the imitating between the two.

It seems we have been blessed with the perfect little sister for Chee.

***********************************************

Epilogue to the short story

Our protagonist is using the potty at home, of her own volition, about half the time. Her Mommy has no idea why. Perhaps it is the Mommy’s strategy of just ignoring the pottying. A strategy born from a desire to withhold strong, strong feelings of rage that threatened to consume the Mommy’s entire being. Whatever the reason, the little girl seems to be tiring of peeing on the carpet because nobody seems to care anymore. And there’s a note on the fridge that says Mommy will buy more Popsicles when the little girl starts using the potty again. She reads that every day. And everyday Mommy says, Maybe today will be the day that we can buy those Popsicles.

So far, they’re still waiting.

But every day they seem to be a little closer.

Maybe tomorrow.

One of the diagnostic criteria for children with Autism Spectrum Disorder has to do with pretending, make-believe play. The exact wording is: lack of varied, spontaneous make-believe play or social imitative play appropriate to developmental level.

Chee has been delayed but not lacking entirely in this skill. Because she is my first child, and because I didn’t have much of a network of friends with same-age kids when she was younger, I didn’t realize she was lacking in this area. I can remember seeing on various Milestone Charts something about pretending. Does your child engage in pretend play, e.g., using a banana as a phone? When I read that the first time I remember thinking, yes, I’ve seen her do that; so, sure, she has pretend play.

Prior to age two, though, I can recall she had zero interest in baby dolls. She didn’t mother them, pretend to feed them or put them to bed. Nothing. When she was very young her favorite things were books, wooden blocks, Mega Blocks, listening to music, and banging on toys with buttons that made noise when pressed. So great was her love for pressing noise-making buttons over and over again, that by the time she was age 18 months I had permanently rotated out nearly every single lights-and-sounds toy she had. That Christmas I requested only battery-free toys for her. The silence was heavenly.

Shortly after she was two, she had her first speech evaluation. The speech therapist handed her a baby doll and a bottle and, I can’t remember exactly, but I’m pretty sure Chee just discarded them. (Of course, I told myself that Chee herself had rarely ever drank from a bottle so how could she possibly know what to do with one.) The therapist then took the doll and pretended to feed her from the bottle. She handed them back to Chee who also did the same thing, including imitating the “Mmmm, mmmm” sounds.

There were a couple more instances during the evaluation that the SLP demonstrated some sort of playing to Chee and Chee immediately imitated her, whereas minutes before she had seemed lost or uninterested.

That was one of those lightbulb moments for me.

You mean I’m supposed to TEACH my child how to PLAY?!?!

Well, yeah, kinda. If they aren’t doing it on their own that is. I can remember feeling just horrible. What kind of mother am I, I thought, that I didn’t show my daughter what to do with a baby doll? Oh, I beat myself up something fierce for this. I convinced myself that I had not been playing with Chee enough. Clearly it was all my fault. Everything under the sun was my fault, or so it felt at the time.

She had just had her 2nd birthday from which she had amassed a veritable village of Little People. Thus dawned a new era of playing with Chee. Teaching her how to pretend. We had a castle and a boat, there were horses and dogs and Little Persons of every race, gender and occupation.

Initially, most of the pretending was done by me or my husband. We kept things pretty simple. I can remember setting up obstacle courses for the People, running them in races, and having them sit down to dinner. At that point in time, Chee had no reciprocal communication, so it followed suit that the People had no conversation as well. But there was much Hooray-ing and pointing out objects of interest.

Most of her pretend play echoed what she had seen/heard one of us do in play. If I took the People on a bus ride around the zoo, I’d later hear her taking them on the same bus ride. Everything would be just as I had done it, including using my exact same words.

I can remember the day, it was just about a year ago exactly, that she repurposed the Little People castle into Target. All on her own (neither of her parents had ever made the castle anything but the castle), she took her People shopping to “Target” where they bought “stuff.”

The pretending continued. She expanded into her play kitchen, whipping up food for breakfast and lunch. She began to take care of one of her baby dolls, including putting it to bed with her at night, complete with tucking her in and giving her a kiss. Into the mix she added Princesses and Barbies and a few stuffed animals. She was on her way.

Chee’s pretend play is now expanding to a whole new level. It’s exciting to watch it unfold. To watch her unfold.

I’ve mentioned recently that her favorite game to play is “restaurant.” She has become very elaborate. We frequent a gourmet pizza place near our house. While waiting to be seated, you can watch the “pizza man” toss the dough in the air and roll it out. All of that is incorporated into our game. Much of the play has been led by me. I’ve pretended to be a waitress and take her order. I’ve been the customer and coached her into taking my order. She does very well with it, and each time we play the pretending goes longer and longer. It helps that we have this pizza game to play with.

Then there was yesterday. Yesterday was altogether new.

I walked into her bedroom after bath and jammies and she said, Hi Miss Teacher, I’m your student! I went with it and for the next 5-10 minutes we had Circle Time with a story (picked by Chee, read by me). Then it was time to ride the bus home and her Daddy became the bus driver and I changed back to Mommy and greeted her when she got off the bus. She told me just what she did at school and that she had so much fun on the bus with Mr. Bus Driver.

Her language was incredible! My husband and I repeatedly exchanged shocked expressions at just how engaged she was, how creative she was. It was amazing.

I caught myself thinking, Wow, I think she’s gonna be okay.

She’s learning. She’s growing. She’s developing.

There’s no pretending that.

I think my husband and I are like many of the parents of today’s young children. We think. A lot. We don’t make decisions lightly, and we try our best to do the absolute best for our kids.

From ridding our diets of high fructose corn syrup and only choosing whole grain foods when possible, to limiting (or denying altogether) access to television, to seeking out a balance of well-rounded activities for optimal development - we take our job as parents seriously. To raise healthy, happy children to become healthy, happy adults. Of course there’s an abundance of love and laughter thrown in there. It’s a job raising kids, but it’s a darn fun one.

There was one decision that we especially did not take lightly. The Education of Chee. Last year, before realizing the full scope of Chee’s developmental delays, we decided on a Montessori education. It’s what felt right for our daughter. We looked at a half-dozen schools, talked with several teachers and school administrators, compared and contrasted against other preschools in the area. And with great hope, Chee began preschool last fall at a nearby Montessori preschool.

As I’ve written before, that did not work out. At all. Probably a combination of Chee’s delays (which give her the appearance of being about a year behind) and her Sensory Processing Disorder led to a very frustrating month for her (and her teachers). Resulting, ultimately, in us deciding to pull her out and seek the resources of the public school system. Just like that - bam - we took her out, and the next thing you know she’s in special education preschool. It almost left my head spinning how fast it all happened. There was little research. Just evaluations, interviews and a home visit, the next thing you know we have an IEP and two months after quitting the Montessori preschool, Chee was in a new school.

Even though Chee did very well in her classroom this past year, I can’t help but feel a bit of sadness that the Montessori classroom didn’t work for her. Mostly though I have made peace with it and accept that the special education classroom is where she belongs for now. Mostly.

And then someone makes a random comment, several times, and suddenly we are questioning our path.

Chee’s SLP has suggested, on more than one occasion, that Chee would thrive in a Montessori classroom. That with her learning style and her strong reading abilities, she will excel in that classroom. Suddenly I’m back to my wishful thinking about providing a Montessori education.

My husband and I spent the better part of the last few days, as we have done a time or two already, reevaluating the course we’re on. Should we enroll her in a Montessori preschool in the afternoons? Special needs public preschool in the morning where she has an IEP and the appropriate, necessary therapies and supports, followed by three additional hours of all that is magical about lovely about a Montessori education?

It’s tempting. Really tempting.

The internal debate comes with not knowing Chee’s capabilities. Not knowing how she’s going to do in school - Kindergarten and beyond.

Will she always need supports?

Or will she move past this, develop typical language and social skills and excel in the classroom?

Or will she find a regular classroom frustrating because she’s not challenged?

Would she truly thrive in a Montessori classroom?

Would that be a more suitable environment than where she’s returning this fall?

How does a parent know? How do we, Chee’s parents know what is the right thing to do.

It comes down to this: We don’t know. All we can do is listen to our trusted intuition.

Mine is telling me that Chee does not need to be in school for six hours a day. Three hours in the morning, a lunch break, and three hours in the afternoon. Perhaps it’s not Chee that does not need it, but maybe it’s her Mom who isn’t ready for her to be away from home that much. Either way, it’s what I’m hearing from myself.

There is always the option of choosing Montessori as her primary preschool and then using the resources the school district provides for speech and OT but, if I’m listening to my gut, withdrawing her from special ed preschool is definitely not the right choice. We have a good thing going there and I’m not messing with it.

And here we are, a few conversations later, back to our original plan. This is one of those times that we make our decision based on who Chee is today, and not who she might be in three or four years. It’s tough. Occasional nagging ‘what-if’ thoughts poke at me.

I have two young children, though, and my life is going to be full of nagging ‘what-ifs.’ For many years to come. It’s something I better get used to.

The brilliant blogger/speech therapist/mom (more I’m sure) Jordan commented on my post yesterday About Autism saying the following (among other things):

I do believe that for some kids, the sensory processing piece is the pivotal issue, and once they get enough help with that, a lot of other pieces fall into place (such as language and a readiness for more age-appropriate learning).

I hope I’m not overstepping, Jordan, by calling out a portion of what you said, but it rang ever so true with me, and also reminded me that I want to pull out my spreadsheets share some of my observations on Chee and her New and Improved Sensory Diet.

You may recall that I had said what a terrific day we had after a morning spent swimming. I have heard (and it has been confirmed several times over) that swimming is terrific sensory input, particularly proprioceptive (heavy work). I have in the past observed that when I routinely engage Chee in some heavy work, she seems to have better concentration and we will see an increase in her spontaneous and conversational language. It’s quite remarkable to tell the truth. Since she’s been in preschool and getting a pretty good Sensory Diet there and at her weekly OT session, I haven’t been diligent in our diet at home. Not to mention that I think the Sensory Diet we had been doing at home has run its course.

I won’t go into the daily minutiae specifics because, let’s face it, it’s not that interesting to anyone but me. And maybe Chee’s occupational therapist.

But I will share the highlights - the New & Improved Sensory Diet is working! Wonderfully!

Swimming is very effective. On days we “swam” (i.e. army crawled back and forth a lot across the pool), she was very well-regulated. Unless it was the weekend. But I think that had more to do with the separation anxiety that I recently talked about. In fact, it was because of our experience at the pool last Sunday that I came to the conclusion that it is indeed separation anxiety, and not Sensory Dysregulation.

The army crawls aren’t the only thing that is effective in the water. So is crashing. Chee came up with that herself. I think her body/nervous system (whatever) knows what it needs. She spent the entire hour and half we were at the pool throwing herself down. A modified Nestea plunge, if you will. (I figured out later that she was falling down like Rachel does at the end of the Silly Pizza Song - if you are a Signing Time fan, you’ll know what I’m talking about.)

As it’s not realistic to go to the pool every day, I had to come up with something new at home. Thus, the Obstacle Horse was born. For some it’s a course, but Chee calls it a horse. And as it’s sooo darn cute, I refuse to correct her.

What seems to be the significant part of the Obstacle Horse is crashing onto cushions. Chee loves it.

We have done three, maybe four, different Obstacle Courses this past week. Always, I’ve included Cushion Crashing. It’s a huge hit. As is jumping into and out of the Hula Hoop, balancing on her belly (on an exercise ball) while digging puzzle pieces out of a bucket of rice (need a less messy version of that), crawling through a tunnel, walking across her homemade balance beam (her balance is so much better than it used to be), stepping (alternating feet) through the homemade “ladder” on the floor, and trampoline jumping. (Not all of these in ONE Course, mind you.)

We’re usually doing the Obstacle Course both in the morning and in the afternoon, but I’m leaving the couch cushions on the floor for her to crash as much she wants (which is often).

However, so as not to burn out on the Obstacle Course, occasionally I’m throwing in a splash of Yoga Kids (she loves this video) and games of Simon Says, where we do lots of things like bear crawls and caterpillar crawls and other Yoga poses from the video.

Results we’ve seen include significantly improved language - spontaneous and conversational - and a much calmer Chee during what is normally the “witching hour” (around dinner time). Also, there is less crying and tantruming when Ess starts acting Ess-like (what you would expect from an 18 month old). More than anything, though, it’s the increased language. The clear sharing of thoughts and feelings. That is Chee’s most significant delay area, so I’m thrilled to see progress there.

I can’t think of any other thing that I can attribute the difference I’ve seen in her this last week. And it kind of confirms my suspicion that Sensory Processing is her biggest ‘issue’ and should remain a priority.

A consistent Sensory Diet has helped her manage a busy week of a cousin visiting, dinner out at crowded, loud restaurant, some unexpected changes in weekend plans. And she’s just plain fun to be around too. I imagine she just feels better too when she doesn’t have to expend so much energy trying to regulate herself.

And you know, I haven’t seen a lot of doinking lately. That makes this Sensory Diet worth its weight in gold.

This past week, I took Ess in to the pediatrician for her 18 month well-baby checkup. We were presented with a new form that I’m sure many of us have heard of - The M-CHAT (Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers). This is a diagnostic tool that the AAP is now recommending at the 18-month and 2-year well baby visits. It’s an early screening tool for Autism Spectrum Disorder.

As I was filling it out for Ess, I couldn’t help but think back on how I would have answered those same questions very differently for Chee. So differently, I’m sure, that our pediatrician would have taken one look at it and said, Get thee to a specialist, your daughter may have Autism. I’m convinced, too, that we would have received a diagnosis of PDD-NOS for Chee.

Occasionally I wonder how might things be different for us had Chee received an early ASD diagnosis. She would have started Speech Therapy, perhaps, earlier than age 2 1/2. Then again, had I gone through the Renowned Autism Specialists group at our Children’s Hospital, it would have taken at least a year to get through all the evaluations and appointments and, odds are, therapy wouldn’t have actually started any sooner than it did.

I know the conventional wisdom about Autism is that it’s a lifelong condition, one can’t be cured from and one doesn’t recover from Autism.

But were Chee to be evaluated today by a Specialist it is unlikely she would be diagnosed with ASD. Indeed she was evaluated (but not thoroughly) by a Developmental Pediatrician who said she is positively not on the Spectrum. That’s not to say that she doesn’t have special needs. She still has Sensory Processing Disorder, and she still has a Language Disorder, or perhaps just Unusual Language Development. I don’t know what the right set of words is.

A lot of folks say that kids don’t recover from Autism. But what if some kids do? What if there’s such a thing as a Developmental Autism (Chee’s speech therapist first tossed that phrase out to me)? If no two kids look the same on the Spectrum, can the same not be said for Development within, an off of, the Spectrum?

Maybe Chee wasn’t cured (cure was never a word in my vocabulary), but perhaps she was educated out of it. Or perhaps she never truly exhibited those traits (although I don’t think my memory is failing me - there were many autistic traits). Or, perhaps, as the name implies, she has Pervasive Developmental DELAYS. Delays - meaning happening later. Perhaps she just developed out of the early symptoms.

Whatever it is (and really does it even matter), I think I’m just reacting to a couple of different things. One, reading that M-CHAT and seeing how many questions I would have answered for Chee in the negative (or positive depending on the wording); and two, reading repeatedly on blogs and in the media about how Autism is a lifelong condition that one does not outgrow.

That too blanket of a statement for me, and I’m never comfortable speaking in the absolutes about child development -whether it’s about Autism or anything else.

I’m a bit wary of the next two weeks. There are many happenings.

We have family visiting for two weeks. My sister and her niece, M, who is four. They will be staying with us part of the time and with my Mom part of the time.

We will have other family visiting during that time, including a 2nd cousin who is 5. They will be staying with us.

M loves Chee. And Chee loves M. M is good for Chee. She prods her into playing games and forces her to engage. I will have to pay attention the next few days to make sure Chee gets the space she needs. She loves to play with M, but she needs space now again. M, not so much. M is a social butterfly. A party girl at heart. And also the life of the party. Chee, not so much.

Although, I have to say, Chee held her own very well today at a (hot and crowded) butterfly show. And for two hours playing in the backyard. Lots of great language, playing, pretending, and she took breaks when she needed it. And it may have helped that I led us in a fabulous game of Simon Says, where Simon made everyone do lots of heavy work like bear walks and wheelbarrow walks.

After talking with Chee’s OT on Monday, I’m stepping up the proprioceptive input during the day and going to try for every 2 hours to get a little heavy work of some sort in. Chee’s new love of the game Simon Says helps this endeavor quite a bit. Monday she pushed the grocery cart, full of groceries and Ess, all around the store. Now that was seriously heavy work if ever there was any.

I truly love having M visit. I often wish she lived in town as she’s the perfect playmate for Chee. So while I’m a bit wary of how things will go, and I’m perhaps a little too conscientious that Chee doesn’t get overwhelmed by it all, I’m happy to have a safe playmate for Chee. A close-in-age cousin who loves Chee and wants to be her best friend. I have no real worries about them playing together, and I don’t feel like I need to monitor them.

These two cousins make great pals.

Today is Chee’s last day of preschool. The last day of the first year of her formal education.

And what a year it’s been.

Chee’s very first month of preschool was at a Montessori school. I was very excited and hopeful about Montessori, believing it to be the right fit for my special daughter. Despite her language disorder, I still felt like it was the right choice for her. How wrong I was.

Most definitely not the right fit for Chee. After a very stressful month for me, and undoubtedly for her as well, I made the difficult decision to pull her out. I had not yet begun the process with our local school district, and as such had no idea what I was going to do. All I could think about was how we had failed preschool. Preschool! If we couldn’t get through preschool, what hope did we have?

Of course, things turned around significantly. Special needs preschool was suggested, I checked my ego at the door, and off we went.

It’s been a very positive experience so far. When she began preschool the first week of December, she wasn’t potty trained; the song Happy Birthday reduced her to tears; she could answer very few WH- questions; she didn’t converse with us; she didn’t initiate playing with other kids; she wouldn’t participate in group activities (e.g., Circle Time). There’s probably more that I’m forgetting.

Now she’s doing all of those things. I can’t give all the credit to preschool, though, as she’s been in private Speech and Occupational Therapies too, and I’ve worked with her at home a tremendous amount. Where preschool has been significant though is the social aspect of it. She has 11 peers in her class with whom to to learn how to be friends. She’s in a supportive environment that prompts her and guides her in the nuances of communicating with her peers. She also has opportunities to grow more comfortable with larger group settings. She’s not there yet, large groups still make her uncomfortable, and that may take awhile. With preschool, she is frequently exposed to large groups which is critical to helping her become comfortable with them. That’s not something I could do easily at home.

Last week there was an Ice Cream social at Chee’s school and a small ceremony for the preschool graduates going on to Kindergarten. The teacher said kind words about each child and talked about what they were like compared to the first year they were there. It was heartwarming and inspirational to hear how this one didn’t have any friends the first year, and how that one wouldn’t talk to anyone, but now both have several good friends and talk to everybody.

Hearing that gets me excited about the next school year. I admit to having very high hopes for Chee. Hopes that she will initiate and sustain conversation with her peers. Hopes that she will share an experience from her day at school. Hopes that she will learn to identify and share her feelings.

But first we have summer! We’ve got a fun schedule planned with Dramakinetics and Tumbling and playdates and pool dates. Cousins visiting in June and a Beach Vacation in July. And, very possibly, her first REAL birthday party with friends.

Chee’s been singing a little song the past few days.

Summer’s coming, summer’s coming
We can’t wait! We can’t wait!
School is almost over; school is almost over
3 more days; 3 more days.

Indeed, we can’t wait.