A modern day rite of passage

I suspect most of us have heard of Build-A-Bear. I suspect a gazillion of us have even succumbed to the allure and appeal that is to let your child stuff his or her Very Own Teddy Bear. The smiles and kisses and hugs that accompany the stuffing of one’s Very Own Teddy Bear are definite heart-string-tuggers. Whereas I can remember my treasured Holly Hobbie doll, the girls and boys of today will remember their Very Own Teddy Bear that they Stuffed Themselves.

Marketing Geniuses.

Yesterday my girls stuffed their Very Own Teddy Bear for the first time.

Wondering why this is blog-worthy? My husband and I own a little store, open weekends only, in a giant flea market. A Make Your Own Teddy Bear store.

Chee has been to this store many, many times over the last three plus years. I’ve written before about what a sensory-challenging place the flea market can be. Chee’s been handling it much better lately though. Yesterday was the icing on the cake. The whole experience was so utterly … typical.

Our employee was off so my husband and I split the day. He worked morning, I worked afternoon. He took the girls browsing around the flea market after I came in to relieve him. A bit later they all come back to our booth.

Brief history: Up until about 3 months ago Chee refused to even step foot in our booth, let alone come near the stuffing machine.

I asked her if she wanted to pick out a new outfit for her Teddy Bear as I steered her toward the outfits. (Dressing stuffed animals helps her build her fine motor skills, too.)

She said, No, I want to stuff a Teddy Bear for Daddy.

Okay, which one?

This one, she replied and immediately grabbed a bright lime green teddy bear off the shelf.

She followed all my directions to pick a Star and put it inside and pick a Guardian Angel Bear, too. She picked a bow for around its neck. And she put her foot on the pedal to blast the stuffing inside (not a quiet machine mind you). And then she hugged it and kissed it.

A modern day rite of passage. Extra special to me as over the years I’ve watched so many kids stuff their Very Own Teddy Bear and be excited and fully engaged in the experience, and wonder when, even IF, my own daughter would find it exciting too. Wonder whether she would engage in the experience.

Of course Ess stuffed her own bear too. A bright pink one. There was NO WAY she was going to miss out on the fun. She was afraid to push the pedal so Daddy did it, but she shrieked with laughter.

Yesterday was fun.

 

Today was different

If I were to describe a normal day for our family, especially a normal weekend day, it would inevitably include a tale or two of frustration in regards to managing Chee. How we couldn’t do this or had to cut short that because she wasn’t handling whatever it was well.

Today was completely different. She handled everything we did … and handled it well. Not just today, but yesterday also.

Big, big things too. We all went out to the flea market to close up our booth. Normally she is terrified of even coming near our booth, but today she came inside, she straightened stuffed animals on the shelves, she interacted well with our employee, she pulled the curtains to help us close up.

We went out to eat afterwards and she was incredible. From ordering her own food, to quietly coloring pages while we waited, to telling the server, Byyyyyeee! she was the poster child for manners and (dare I say it) impulse control.

But the big news of the day, of the weekend, has to do with her hair. No, not the haircut we’ve been working on, but, and this is of equally great magnitude to me, Chee wore barrettes!

I’ll say it again. Barrettes!

She is a girl who has been firm in her dislike, hatred even, for barrettes. If I would manage to sneak one in when she wasn’t paying attention, she’d cry and wail and summon the demons to get it out of her hair. In Chee world, where specific, unusual fears are understood only by her, barrettes are evil.

Were evil.

She’s worn her barrettes for two consecutive days. I won’t declare victory just yet though. She needs to wear them to school tomorrow and leave them in all day. Then victory.

I can’t tell you how much it means to me that she wore these barrettes. Everything connected to grooming tends to be a battle with her lately. She has been resisting taking baths and brushing her teeth. My haircut social story has had zero effect. And her hair is just a mess.

But tonight we had fun with barrettes! Just before bath, I took out the package and we looked at all of the colors and designs on them. She loved them. She tried to put them in her own hair. She put them in my hair. It was a girly mother-daughter dream moment.

The barrettes were the icing on the cake of a perfectly delicious weekend. Her language, her behavior, her sensory processing. They were all on. She was on.

For being spring break, it’s been a lousy week. Lousy weather, lousy sicknesses going around. No matter how lousy, though, it has ended on high note. A super high note.

It was really fun too. Fun watching all the pieces of the puzzle come together for her. In her. Delightful.

I’m tossing the social story aside for now. I can live with the shaggy long bangs as long as we can work with barrettes. I’m definitely ready to be done with the pony tails. A mom can only deal with the same ponytail for so long.

Maybe by the time I’ve had my fill of barrettes and am ready for a change, she will be too. Headbands, anyone?